Hello, my dear. I'm quite sorry to hear of this story. Quite sorry. I will say this. We as human beings are lifelong learners. Every single character trait, every personality that we have, believe it or not, was learned at some point in time. We as human beings are like, we're like play-doh; we're like clay. What we become is a result of the hand that has molded us. And yes, even though clay can be hardened, as human beings, we can be reduced back to that simple gem we were once upon a time. And become something more than we presently are.

Every single person is a product of the environment that they sprung up in. The examples they witnessed and the images they saw. Yeah, a person says, I'm shy. No one is really shy. Are you following me? No one is really shy. At the same time, no one is just naturally bold. These are things that are manually or unconsciously created. As a result of life's experiences and narratives.

And from what you've discussed, growing up, I guess from your description, friendship and deep intimacy in the family weren't something you got to experience. And of course, we all know that our household is the place where we receive our fundamental education. It's from the household we learn how to treat people. It's from the household where we learn generosity or stinginess. It's where we learn patience, humility, pride, or arrogance. It's from the household. Are you following me?

Even in the household, there weren't many examples or intentional training and coaching to form a person's character in a very healthy way. If that is the case, it doesn't mean it's the end of your life. Let me tell you something that you better learn quickly as a young girl. Your life is in your hands. It's so easy to say, "Oh, I'm like this because of this. I'm like this because of that. This person did this, that person did that."

A time must come when we must reclaim our power. Do you hear me? We must reclaim our identity back. Because at the end of the day, it's our life. We're the ones that are going to live this life. Regardless of what someone said to me 10 years ago, 15 years ago, or 20 years ago, I will be held responsible for my decisions.

And sadly, because we live in a broken world, most of us, if not all of us, will spend a better part of our adulthood educating ourselves on things that our home and foundational community failed to teach us, and that's the truth, that's the truth.

Do you see this thing called meditation? There are some cultures in the world that, from childhood, the way they raise the children, they are meditative naturally. Have you not seen the art of the Japanese people? Have you not seen even the old European Renaissance art? Where some people will sculpt one sculpture for two years. It takes a great deal of meditation and focus. And it takes being raised in the household of one who understands this concept of having a single vision.

Sadly, many of us were not taught this. That's why many have signed up for a program like this. For example, let me try and learn in my youth, in my middle age, and in my old age what I wasn't taught as a child. It's sad. And it's very easy to now be looking back and saying, "Why didn't you teach me?" Oh my dear, people can only give what they have. And they can't give what they don't have.

The most important thing is for us to recognize our inadequacies and the places where we are lacking and move to complete those areas with the help of God. Are you following me? One simple thing you can begin to do if you don't yet have any community that gives a picture of the kind of friendship and joy you would like to see is watch online. As simple as that sounds, I tell you, watch online. See how people interact. Check people.

A lot of us grew up in homes where quote-unquote marriage was not properly modeled. But glory be to God, today God has raised different people who come online, and through their words, actions, and interactions with one another, they are replacing the images that the enemy has used to derail many of us. So if you witness a kind of relationship between people that inspires you, watch it. Begin to emulate it. If nobody has ever told you sorry before and you watch people say sorry, act it out. It doesn't matter if it's not your nature.

That thing of, Oh, it's my nature, it's my nature, what we call our nature was learned behavior, and if it was learned, it can be unlearned. Are you understanding me? If we are used to never saying sorry, never saying please, it was learned. So even if you don't feel like saying please or saying sorry, you have watched a relationship between two people; you see how please and thank you are very common. Even if you don't believe it, because you have seen what it can produce, begin to pretend. Pretend until your pretense becomes your nature, as a matter of fact

As we were children, didn't they force us to brush our teeth? Didn't they force us to take our bath? Didn't they force us to go to school? Did we like it? We didn't like it, but we pretended until we saw the value of it. Do you get my point? And such is life. So you want to expose yourself to healthy examples of friendships or relationships.

I'll tell you already, being in this program, you're already in a very good place because we're going to be talking about a lot of things, and you're already on the right track. I'll tell you. One thing I'll say is don't assume that whatever character you have right now is all that you can be and that your present personality is the best version of yourself. Don't agree. There's always room to be better. Regardless of how long you have maintained the particular behavioral pattern, there's always room for growth. Are you hearing me?

So give room for hope. Tell yourself, "Friendship is something I can enjoy." Let it even be a prayer. Lord, I see the friendship that David had with Jonathan. I see the friendship Abraham had with his son Isaac. I see the friendship that Jesus had with his disciples.

Lord, if such is possible for them, I know it's possible for me. Lord, set me on the trajectory to healthy friendships, oh God, to healthy relationships, oh God. Set me on the trajectory of healing, Lord, from wounds of times past. Oh, that nothing inside of me will obscure your light, oh God. I come before you in the spirit of humility. Lord, help your child. Help your child. Have mercy on me, have mercy on me, have mercy on me. I acknowledge I'm not the best that I can be. I acknowledge that there's room for great growth and improvement. Lord, lay your hand upon my life and make me more than what I am today, in the name of Jesus, amen.