Oh, my dear friend, the sincerity of your question is beautiful, and I am glad you asked it.

The Bible teaches us:

'And you have forgotten the exhortation that speaks to you as to sons: “My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the Lord loves, He chastens and scourges every son whom He receives.” If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons." - Hebrews 12:5-8

The Bible teaches us that Jesus is the express image of the Father. What does this mean? It means that everything that Jesus is, is exactly what the Father is. Love does not begin in the New Testament. How can it be? The Bible tells us in John 3:16 that “for God so loved the world...” The Father has always been about love. The Father will always be about love. How can there be love, however, if there is no correction?

I have a 14-month-old son with my beautiful wife, Esther Ideh (who is also a wonderful teacher of the word). Being a first-time father has taught me a lot about the love my Heavenly Father has for me. My beautiful son, Bethel, God bless him, put anything in his mouth. Now, when I seize from him something that is obviously harmful to him, he cries. At that moment, he feels as though cruelty is being done to him. At that moment, he suffers from the experience of not being able to have what he would like. I am aware that he is suffering from being denied, hence his tears. But should that deter me from preserving his life? 

Yes, at that moment, I was a cause of pain for him, but does that mean I do not love him? Quite the contrary! Between the ages of 5 and 11 years of age, I was a kleptomaniac. That is, someone who has an excessive compulsion to steal. Imagine if that behaviour was not corrected in my home and I went on to steal, maybe somewhere in Northern Nigeria. Which is worse, the tears of the rod in the house or the tears of losing an arm to the Sharia police?

Yes, God chastens us and creates the necessary sorrow for us in order to lead us to the right path. He does this to save us from the greater sorrows we will face if we miss our way. The Bible teaches that:

'For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.' - II Corinthians 7:10

God causes us to experience a sorrow that is actually medicine for the soul, in order to save us from the sorrows that can be poison for the soul. Jesus' ministry was very fierce and corrective, especially towards the Pharisees. This, however, was deep love, cleansing love, and redemptive love. Any love that accepts you without cleansing you is not love at all. Love ought to leave you better than when it met you. Love does not enable weakness, simply because it does not want a person to feel bad.

There is an old saying that goes: “If the truth shall kill them, let them die.” Anything that can be killed by the truth should never be allowed to live because it is not alive in the first place. Grace is not a license for sin. Grace is the divine empowerment given to every child of God to live a life above sin in a sinful world.

It was God’s grace that gave Joseph the strength to reject the advances of Potiphar’s wife. It was God’s grace that gave Moses the strength to choose a nomadic life in the wilderness over the pleasures of Egypt. It was God’s grace that gave Jesus the strength to pray for the forgiveness of his assassins.

God is love, and this love strikes. It strikes, but it also heals. It is written:

'And the Lord will strike Egypt; He will strike and heal it; they will return to the Lord, and He will be entreated by them and heal them.' - Isaiah 19:22

The rod is one of the most powerful manifestations of God’s love. It sets us back on the path when we lose our way and saves us from our own ignorance. This is why David said your ROD and staff comforted me. Yes, a true son is grateful for the rod of the Father. A true son is comforted by it. A true son is healed by it.

I will conclude with this: God’s love has the intention of making you whole. It doesn’t have the intention of making you happy. Your happiness is only a priority to God when it has received true education, when you learn to be happy about what is right and sorrowful about what is wrong.

Until then, we must grow to enjoy the love of the Lord that comes with a staff and a rod. As for your question about the Canaanites, I will treat that as a separate question.