Hello, Sophie. It is well with you. Well, it really depends on you and what you want to do, to be honest.

Once upon a time, when I was in college, I had a housemate who I'll just describe as an opportunist. And he took pride in being able to, I guess, rip people off and use them. He did that with a lot of people, you know, gave compliments, said things to, like, stroke people's egos, and, you know, get things out of them, and I saw through all of that.

And he at that time. Well, most of the time, to be honest, he was very, very broke, and I knew it. So what I would do whenever I go to buy groceries is I'll just buy a little bit extra. And when I cook, I'll cook a little bit extra. And that was just me wanting to be kind, right? Because I saw that he didn't have money and wasn't eating properly.

So I said, "Hey, listen, what would it cost me to just, you know, add a little bit of groceries and just cook a little bit extra?" It won't cost me anything. Right. The only thing is, "OK, if I cook, you're going to wash the pot, you're going to wash the dishes, and period."

So, you know, whenever I start cooking, there's a way he used to like to flatter people. You know, he'll come and touch you, saying, "Hey, you are the best person in the world, man. I love you." He used to do all that rubbish, like, he did it with a lot of people. And, you know, he'll gas them up and, you know, make them feel so special. And I mean, one day I just told him, I said, "Hey, listen to me. I'm just helping your life because you're a poor boy. Don't think it's because you are toasting me, all this rubbish that I'm doing this. So please stop that. I'm just trying to be kind."

So at that time, I knew that he was trying to take advantage of me, but I owned the moment. And I said, you know what? I can see he needs this. Whether or not he's a fool or whatever, I'm just going to be kind to him, you know, regardless. Because, again, what does it cost me in the long run and everything?

So there's that, where you can see it, and it's like, well, let me just help this person so that their life can be helped. It's not as if I'm a fool. It's not as if I'm being manipulated or anyone is using me; I'm the one who wanted to do this. So at that time, I wanted to help him.

But there are moments where you have to call people out and say, "Hey, listen, this thing you're doing is not appreciated, and actually, I'm not going to comply with this anymore." We have to have very healthy boundaries in our relationships. That way we can even have long-term relationships.

If we always say yes in areas where we ought not to, we'll hate this thing called service. So, there should be healthy, you know, where we say "no" now and then and refuse certain things. And if you feel like a person is being manipulative, it might be best to withdraw your kindness and say, "Hey, listen, I think I'm being abused. And I'm not going to continue like this."

You know, maybe in that confrontation the person might repent; they might try and gaslight you or whatever. But sometimes there's a time to withdraw your kindness because, in the name of letting me be kind to someone, you can unconsciously become an accomplice to their quote-unquote delinquency, and you will be encouraging their very bad and manipulative behaviour.

Sometimes, it's holy to deny a person something. That's kindness in itself because if you keep affirming them and giving them what they want, even though it fuels a very bad character, you're not being kind. Do you get my point?

And again, that's why it comes to us reflecting: why are we doing this? Why am I being kind to this person? Am I trying to, you know, do I want to be in everybody's good graces? You know, do I feel the need to please everyone around me? There's a need to ask ourselves, Why am I doing this?

So you need to find out why you're still being kind to that person. If it's something godly and, you know, you are genuinely trying to be a good sister and be holy, a time will come when your holy deed becomes unholy. Do you get my point?

Jesus Christ was called a peacemaker. But when he found people who were at peace with iniquity, he brought them great trouble in the temple. He flogged them; he scattered at tables, and that was a great kindness. So kindness has different manifestations. Kindness always seeks the best for a person.

And at this moment, if a person is developing a very ungodly character, a very manipulative and narcissistic tendency, it's best to withdraw and let them know why you are withdrawing. And in that way, that's a great kindness as well. That's my advice. God bless you.